Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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