she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
