Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
