I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
