At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
