just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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