my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Hippo gnu deer
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
My bed smells like the plague
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize