I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize