i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
