I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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