He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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