Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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