haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
