And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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