He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
