in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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