There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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