who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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