We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Jerry, you need to find god
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
