I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Randomize
