I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
