i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize