I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
