my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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