Do vagina's smell?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Help. Why am I so naked?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
