i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
3 2 1 whiskey
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
