Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
