you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
