I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I could fuck to npr.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
