He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
