Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
