Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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