so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
