You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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