I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Jerry, you need to find god
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
