My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
