this beer tastes like vomit already
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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