Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
