so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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