Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
