ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
