so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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