At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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