I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize