so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
