I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
