He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
