I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
