I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Where is the hickey?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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