i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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