Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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