you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
