The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
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