Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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