I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
