I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
