I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
