I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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