Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
where are you?
Hypothermia
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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