you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
