if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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