a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
smell my finger.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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