Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
