it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
