My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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