never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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