:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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