i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Randomize
