I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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