Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
