can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
