It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
