I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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