it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
