Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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