Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
